Stained Glass
by Sailboaty
Summary: Kaiba assumes priesthood in an effort for tax evasion, Joey boldly questions his devotion. Church AU, M for well, you know.


**Stained Glass**

It was 7pm on a Sunday, and the sunset projected mismatched colours of stained glass windows across the pews of Kaiba's church. Although the church belonged to the community, everyone knew that with all intents and purposes, the church was Seto Kaiba's. What started out as a ludicrous dealing in government property for tax evasion had eventually lead Kaiba to priesthood. And, he enjoyed it.

The concept of steadfast rules and apparent dominance over those so eager to follow without questions, even in punishment, excited Kaiba in many ways. The power he had as a church leader almost matched the lust for financial power he bore as CEO of Kaiba corp.

"Shit to god, Jesus fucking christ!" A memorable, irritable, voice of broken English pierced the still room. Kaiba's attention was grabbed, but he refrained from reacting and continued to sort the books laid out across the altar as if no one was there. "Mokuba wasn't kidding. It actually is Seto fucking Kaiba praying on his fucking knees."

The mention of his brother broke his deaf charade, and Kaiba shut a thick hardcover book audibly, as if to shut up the intruder himself. Kaiba met the eyes of his old acquaintance. Although they were both a little older than their teens now, the familiar and even comfortable, tension was still there.

"Watch the language Wheeler, this is a place of worship."

"Oh, sorry your priestly priesthood sir, reverend father, pops, Father asshole." Joey responded, marching up the pew aisles with no care. He trailed his fingers along the back of the pews, until he picked the one that he deemed worthy to rest his ass on. He picked the front row.

"Kaiba is fine. I don't need you to strain your small brain figuring out honorifics. But, respect the rules under this roof, and do not use the Lord's name in vain." Kaiba returned the books to their place under the Altar, and stepped out from behind the podium, then down the platform to meet Joey at level ground. "Tell me why you are here."

"Why don't YOU tell me why you are here?" Joey snapped back, trying to get Kaiba to break his well-rehearsed superiority complex. Joey leaned back in the pew and stretched out his legs, with his dirty sneakers almost scratching the hem of Kaiba's starch ironed priest uniform.

Kaiba did not like being questioned. "I'll have someone show you the way out." Kaiba was an efficient negotiator, known not to take his time, yet he hoped that Joey wouldn't call his bluff and leave without losing the banter with some embarrassment.

Joey sighed and spread out more of his body along the pew to make a spectacle of the fact that he definitely wasn't leaving. "Well Father, I am here to confess my sins."

"Confessions are over. Ended at 4pm."

"Hey, hey, isn't it like your churchly duty to accommodate weary travelers? You know, give them soup, and listen to their stories?"

"You live here. You're not a traveler."

"Ok, but I have never come here so I am a possible convert. Don't you want to convert me? Or, are you judging me to be unconvertable? Can't only the big man upstairs do the judging?"

Kaiba realized that this was one drawback in priesthood, and it was indeed his duty to spread the word of God and welcome newcomers. Even if it was Joey. Crossing his arms, he took a step towards the unwelcomed guest, positioning himself intimidatingly close to him between his out stretched legs and cheap jeans.

"Alright then Wheeler. Confess. You have 2 minutes. I don't need the reasons, just list the sins. Just do it here, booth's locked."

Joey smirked, claiming premature victory. The permission was all he needed to commit the next 2 minutes to trying to make Kaiba look like an ass. He started to recall the list of sins he learned when Serenity and he had to go to Sunday school.

"Ok, well, laziness is one." Joey started listing, and Kaiba tilted his head in acknowledgement. "Drunkenness, probably. I can't remember but Yugi told me something along the lines of that. Dealings with the occult maybe? If you count this Duel Monsters shadow realm stuff the devil's work. Say, do you even play cards now? Or is that illegal for you now? Does it count as witchcraft stuff?"

"1 minute, 30 seconds." Kaiba checked his Rolex and ignored Joey's question.

"Wait, if you can't play Duel Monsters, you probably have to be celibate now too right? Man, poor Mokuba and his procreation duties for the Kaiba clan." Joey laughed, but Kaiba did not react. Joey thought mentioning Mokuba would work again, but Kaiba learns fast.

"1 minute 15 seconds Wheeler. If you can't list it all, you are welcome back between the hours of 3-4pm next Sunday for confessionals, or to attend mass at 10am."

Joey became inpatient, he jerked forwards, hooked his legs around the back of Kaiba's knees and threw the taller man off balance by bringing him close. Kaiba did not expect this use of force in a church and was not prepared for the maneuver. He fell forwards, instinctively grabbing the back of the pew for balance, but that also meant Joey's amused shit-face was now wedged between the cramped space made by Kaiba's head, pew, and arms.

"I also confess to rudeness, disobedience, and definitely pride." Joey widened his grin, congratulating himself as he took in the sight of Kaiba's flustered face. He let the moment sit, thinking it only would be a fair fight if Kaiba had a chance to retort or to even strike him.

But Kaiba didn't, he stayed like that, with his head down. His heart beat like crazy, and his priest collar felt noticeably constrained against his neck. He wanted to reach up to adjust it, but he needed to get out of there first. Joey also needed to leave before he did something to him that he would later regret. It wasn't exactly anger or bloodlust, but blood was going to places which made his body a little harder to control.

Joey knew exactly what was happening and dropped his grin. "Hey man, do you want me to stop? Like, sorry I went too far."

"60 seconds." Kaiba refused to lose at their game of chicken. Joey began to feel uncomfortable for him, but he kind of appreciated the predicament that he was in, and the options he was free to take. He smiled.

"Impure thoughts." Joey started the list again and retracted his legs, sitting up straight to press his forehead onto Kaiba's. "Pornography..." Kaiba tried to back away and reach for his constricting collar, but Joey stopped him by grabbing it before he could and yanking it along with Kaiba over his shoulder. "And, selfishness." He finally whispered, heavily into Kaiba's ear.

With little hesitation, Joey tore the collar out of the black shirt and exposed the pale skin of Kaiba's neck. Kaiba took in a sharp breath and tried to protest but was interrupted as Joey's mouth hit against his skin. Joey messily worked his way up his neck to his jawline and placed a hand on the opposite site of Kaiba's head to keep him in place -and to shut him up.

But Kaiba found himself leaning into it without Joey's encouragement. He ripped Joey's hand off his face and pinned it onto the pew. With his other hand, he dug into Joey's haystack of a head and pulled it back away from his neck before pushing his mouth onto the other man's.

Joey did not expect Kaiba to engage but he also expected Kaiba's reluctance to submit. He opened his mouth, forcing their teeth to clash before deepening the kiss with his tongue. Kaiba returned with equal force, thrusting his tongue into the back of Joey's mouth with intention, and bucked his hips forwards in a daring manner. Soon he felt Joey's free hand under his robes and he filled in the gap between them, climbing onto the pew to straddle his partner. Joey untucked the shirt from underneath the priest robes and hooked his thumb between Kaiba's bare hips and his tightening pants, as if awaiting approval to advance.

Kaiba released Joey's other hand from the pew and placed it on his other hip, while leaning into the kiss and bent the blond's back into an arch where his head dropped against the back of the pew. Joey opened his eyes at the sudden contact and saw Kaiba's face up close against the backdrop of the expensive high church ceilings. This was not a view that he imagined he would be seeing that morning. There was a softness in Kaiba's face that Joey has not seen before, a vulnerability in his ostentatious display of dominance. It was a boyish glow in the roughened shell of a man that pushed everyone away with made up rules.

The sun had set, and the colours of stained glass were replaced with darkness. Joey broke the kiss and unhooked his hands from Kaiba's pants as the automatic display lights of the Holy Mary statue turned on. He wondered if Kaiba's attraction to the church was because they promised the love he denied himself of from others.

"Why did you stop?" Kaiba growled in between soft and short breaths.

"You said to keep the reasons out, father. Plus, isn't my time up?" Joey laughed, as he held Kaiba's hips at eye level, begging for permission. "And, isn't this like 50 different sins for you?"

Kaiba didn't care, it was his church.

* * *

Written for my friend KL.


End file.
